Looking for the summer solstice playlist?
It’s embedded at the bottom of this post and here’s the Spotify link.
Oh my goodness, it’s summer.
So, so, so much is going on in current events that feel especially violent and confusing to many of us at the moment.
I used to feel terrified of my terrified feelings.
I thought that if I gave grief or anger a speck of attention, I would get sucked under the surface of whatever terror was circling me at the moment, and that I would literally drown in my fears.
Here’s what I can say today about feeling fearful, sad, and angry.
I’m allowed to feel those feelings.
It’s not more “spiritual” to act like I’m fine all the time.
As the saying goes, whatever you resist persists.
I give myself permission to feel the fear, sadness, and anger. I’m not in trouble. I don’t look week by feeling those ways or invite more icky feelings into my life by thoroughly feeling whatever is heavy on my heart.
Instead the opposite happens.
If I give myself permission to feel what’s truly knocking at my door, then I can move on.
Also, since I can’t selectively anesthetize, the fact that I feel anything uncomfortable is evidence that I have the capacity to experience feelings that are filled with pleasure, relief, and joy, too.
I’m not numb. And that’s a good thing.
So, case in point, instead of pretending that everything is perfect (and don’t get me wrong, lots in the wold and in my personal life are in fact rosey, there’s just also acute suffering abound), I decided to address my discomfort above and now I can write about some other things below.
I can feel more than one thing at once. I can feel confused and take action anyhow. I can grieve and still show up with friends and laugh.
So, summer solstice. Longest day of the year.
Mystical, magical. Potentially crazy-making.
Sexy. Scary. Fireworks. Full moon. Cold drinks, beach days, feet in the earth, singing at the top of our lungs, sweating, fighting, crying, forgiving, and napping.
Sophia says that every season has it’s own way of getting you to nap, and summer’s tactic is to lull you to sleep in the afternoon with thick heat.
Some of my absolute crazzzzzziest times have been during the summer months.
And, of course, some of the most joyous times have occurred around the summer solstice, too. I’m getting big doses of that right now — connection, celebration, adventure, presents of the presence.
During the summer solstice I get up all night energy. In the past I’ve tried to fight or self-medicate or have completely feared that drive to just keep going, as the summer invites me to do.
This year, I’m just leaning into it, making art, sipping ice-water, and spinning my summer solstice playlist on repeat.
I’m feeling wired, tired, so ready to move on, willing to love what’s here now, and super down to stay present with myself through whatever peak feelings are coming to the surface with these long rolling days and hot super charged nights.
Hope you’ll enjoy the jams. And hope you’re letting yourself truly feel whatever you’re feeling during this intense season. Know you’re loved.
Sending xxoo your way,