One of the most useful and strangest things I’ve been learning on my wellness journey is that I’m both a little kid that needs to be taken care of and that I’m also the grown up who is responsible for taking care of that small one.
Sometimes I’ll feel myself starting to melt down and say, “Baby, do you need a juice box or a nap?” And usually the answer is yes.
It feels wild and wonderful to know that I can exist at many ages and stages all at once. I love feeling the playfulness, creativity, and boundless love that my inner child brings to the table. As I build back trust with her by listening to her fantasies, being the grown up who takes care of business in our lives, and no longer taking her around people, places, and things that hurt us, the gifts she posses are revealed to me more each day.
It’s a real trip learning how to be a sweet mama to that little girl who lives inside me. I’m lucky to have wonderful parents and other family members who cherish me. And yet, I’m an adult now and it’s not their job to create a safe home for me, pay my bills, make sure I eat well, or encourage my educational, spiritual, and emotional development. Today as a grown up, that’s my job.
As I get healthier, I’m learning how to time travel and I love how that feels. When I have deep roots in my present life, respect myself in the here now, and lean into the discipline of my daily practices, it’s possible to go anywhere in time and space. When I’m experiencing a particularly healing moment these days around setting boundaries, communicating accurately, or feeling deep satisfaction with the present, I’ll pause to send that healing to my past self. One way to do this is by simply saying out loud, “I love you little Leah and I’m sending the healing of this current miracle your way.”
Recently I started experimenting with a new edge around time travel and integrated healing with myself. I’m becoming open to feeling my future self blessing me at my current age. Future Leah is amazing. I love her so much. She is level, adventurous, confident, forgiving, spacious, free, embodied, eternal, available, discerning, delicious. She’s with me now as I write this, blessing me, blessing you. I’m excited to get to know her as I get to know myself more deeply now and learn more each day how to make peace with little Leah who just wants to be loved, played with, and kept safe.